Without You
by mokonahapuuuuuu
Summary: Without you, I'd die… Cliffjumper/Arcee


_**Note*~**_

_With the autumn season coming and listening to the RENT soundtrack, I thought... why not write this? _

_The song is called 'Without You' from the musical RENT. _

_I'd like to dedicate this story to my mother, since October is the month of her birthday. ^.^  
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_Pairing: Cliffjumper/Arcee (finally!)  
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* * *

><p><strong>Without You<strong>

* * *

><p>Everything was different. The lighting of the sky, the taste of the wind.<p>

Everything just felt... hollow.

She knew the reasons why, but she couldn't accept the truth. She didn't want to face it. She didn't want to hear it.

Cliffjumper was gone. His spark flickered no more. He was offline. Not a part of this universe anymore... but she just couldn't take it in.

How could he be so dumb to take on all those Decepticons at once? He should have waited, retreated... Anything to save his life. But he had to dive in without second thought, which landed himself in death.

And she wasn't there to catch him.

She reminded herself everyday of that fact.

* * *

><p><em>Without you, the ground thaws, the rain falls, the grass grows.<em>  
><em>Without you, the seeds root, the flowers bloom, the children play.<em>  
><em>The stars gleam, the poets dream, the eagles fly, without you.<em>  
><em>The earth turns, the sun burns, but I die, without you.<em>

* * *

><p>How could life still be going on? The sun rises and sets each day... Earth creatures scurrying around the plains as if they had nothing better to do. The river flowing heavily across the stream... How could all that still go on and live? How could everything else go on... and she was the one that was left behind?<p>

It was as if she was placed in this maze. Forever lost and without a strap of hope. Deep down, she cried for help, screamed.

But she muted her own cries.

She couldn't bring herself to word the knots inside of her systems. No one would understand her, no one ever could.

And she drained ounces of herself for her silence.

She watched out for any signs that he was still among the living. Unusual lightning storms, small symbols, oddly shaped energon that resembled a horn... Her mind played tricks on her, and she thought there were sure signs of Cliffjumper calling.

But they were just mere objects. Nothing out of the ordinary or special about them. They all said the same thing.

He wasn't coming back.

* * *

><p><em>Without you, the breeze warms, the girl smiles, the cloud moves.<em>  
><em>Without you, the tides change, the boys run, the oceans crash.<em>  
><em>The crowds roar, the days soar, the babies cry, without you.<em>  
><em>The moon glows, the river flows, but I die, without you.<em>

* * *

><p><em>"How many 'Cons are out there?" <em>

_Arcee could here a cocky chuckle leaving Cliffjumper as she ducked in from out from sight. _

_"It looks like they sent the whole battalion out to get us. How flattering..." _

_Arcee scoffed in annoyance. "We'll never make it out alive, at this rate we're scrapped." _

_"You forget, 'Cee, you're with me." _

_That did not help her narrowing brow on her forehead. Her look deepened into a deeper state of annoyance. _

_"And what makes you so sure?" _

_Smirking, Cliffjumper subspaced his weapons, and began to step out of their hiding place.  
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_"Mess with Cliffjumper, you get the horns..."_

He was always there to reassure her. Now he was gone... how could she face the silent days without him?

She said mean things to him before they were on good terms. Hopefully, he knew that she didn't meant it, and she was trying to run away from things that she couldn't control. Remembering that she hurt him... She felt like she did it on purpose. She wished she could take those back before he was gone.

* * *

><p><em>The world revives<em>  
><em>Colors renew<em>  
><em>But I know blue, only blue, lonely blue, within me blue.<em>

_Without you, the hand gropes, the ear hears, the pulse beats._  
><em>Without you, the eyes gaze, the legs walk, the lungs breathe.<em>

_The mind churns!_  
><em>The heart yearns!<em>

* * *

><p>Time flies... Time dies.<p>

He was battered up. Torn. His proud red colors dented and scratched, covered in Dark Energon... His optics turned from a gentle blue to a menacing violet.

And it was all her fault.

How could she redeem herself? Redeem her life that was eons long... and so empty. She didn't need this. She didn't need to endure it all.

Loss. Pain. Death.

Why did everyone die around her? Why did it have to be his time? Why was she... cursed?

Why...

The horn she kept was all he left behind. It wasn't tainted along with the Dark Energon.

It was the only pure thing left of him.

* * *

><p><em>The tears dry, without you.<em>  
><em>Life goes on, but I'm gone.<em>  
><em>Cause I die, without you...<em>

* * *

><p>Earth was an unusual, but beautiful planet with it's organic life and shifting sceneries. The weather turned colder. The summer fauna turned from it's lush greenery, to a golden yellow. As they fell to the ground, the leaves seemed to dance as it twirled in the wind.<p>

Jack explained that the Earth had four seasons, and the season that they were currently going through was autumn, or 'fall'. On Cybertron, there were no seasons. There were only the metallic skyscrapers and rows of asteroids that were in space. There were the occasional lightning flares, but nothing too dramatic to change the appearance of Cybertron.

On Earth, everything changed. Everything dies. For the first time in megacycles, ever since meeting the humans, meeting Jack... her spark melted. Being Jack's guardian was hard at first, but as time went on, she slowly began to let him in... and he saved her. He saved her from slowly evolving into a killing machine. If she actually went that far, she'd be more tainted than if Dark Energon was the only thing pumping through her entire system. Cybertronians have longer lifespans than humans on Earth, but perhaps... If something had a beginning, and there was no end, there would be nothing special to hold on to at all. Jack taught her that, and he shredded the catalyst that almost made her a mindless monster.

She missed Cliffjumper.

Though, no amount of killing, no amount of slayed Decepticons could bring him back alive. If Cliff's spark was out there watching over her now... he wouldn't be too pleased if she was using the rest of her time and life moping, living in fear. He would have wanted her to be happy. To live. To love.

To be free.

Autumn was such a different concept for Arcee, yet for a moment... she could connect with it. Everything seemed to be shedding, dying even. Maybe she and Autumn had more in common that she thought.

As the wind blew... perhaps the leaves cried with her as well.

_"I love you..."_

* * *

><p><em>Without you.<em>  
><em>Without you.<em>  
><em>Without you...<em>


End file.
